tiiiiny?

So I came across this website that is supposed to make your pictures look like miniatures. I tried one of my New York ones .... I think it sorta does? I'm undecided. I'll test it with some different ones and see what happens.

BUT .... if you're undecided as well and don't want to hurt my feelings, just lie to me and say that it's totally miniature. And the coolest thing you've ever seen. I'm feeling fine with a lie or two today.

cf: lip syncer extraordinaire

So sorry - I know a lot of you have probably seen this already, but I have to post it. It's just such a great example of why believe everyone should stay up late and watch Craig Ferguson.

Or of course there's this little ditty:

dedication:

I'm two days late and much more than a dollar short .... but Happy Mother's Day Marme!


RANDOM SAMPLING OF REASONS WHY MY MOM IS OFFICIALLY #1:

• She listens, even when it's boring. Which it usually is.
• She's a master seamstress which has saved us more than a couple times.
• She likes (and is really good at) Guitar Hero.
• She buys me pineapple. Well, me and everyone else in the family, but considering how much I end up eating let's just say it's for me.
• She can text message without asking for help. In fact, she's quite savvy when it comes to technology.
• She gets her hair done, buys cute clothes, and then turns around and goes for a ride on her 4-wheeler. MY HERO.
• She can legitimately say "Gay is my middle name!"

There's plenty more. Don't be jealous. Or do.

superpost

I feel like I've been slacking on my blogging. I could come up with a million excuses, but does it really matter? I suppose it's just a blog. Now if I were getting paid to blog … well that’d be a whole different story. But unfortunately I’m not. If only.

Had a great Easter … Venable style complete with air soft guns and raw eggs flying everywhere. This is why my family is the best.


Michelle and I learned how to make chocolate cake IN A MUG IN THE MICROWAVE IN TWO MINUTES. Amazing, right? Slap a little Hershey’s syrup or frosting on there and enjoy. It probably would have been best if we hadn’t discovered such a convenient way to eat so badly.


We ran the Salt Lake Half Marathon and overall it was GREAT. You feel like a rock star running down that last little stretch … everyone cheering, cameras flashing. LOVED IT.


I didn’t realize much I loved running until now …. mostly because this day right here did some damage and now I’m struggling to run. I’m only smiling in this picture because #1 as stated before, I'm a rock star and #2 the pain has subsided because my knee has gone numb. I had injured myself on my long run the week before (Side note: I ran over 14 miles! I was so proud of myself ..) and I think it just needed more recovery time. I’ve been seeing a doctor, doing physical therapy, etc etc but it’s looking like the marathon will probably be on hold until fall (I plan to make a decision after the Ogden half next week so cross your fingers for me!) I’m really bummed/frustrated/disappointed/{insert negative emotion here} about it. But it is what it is so here’s to more pain and training!

We spotted a cockroach scuttling across the kitchen floor. Well, technically I never saw it so the girls could just be making it up to give me nightmares (Which DID happen … two nights in a row. Cockroaches snipping at my toes in bed and scaling down from the ceiling onto my sleeping face). Michelle was kind enough to draw an amazingly realistic picture of it for me:

She is our hero because she exterminated it. With her bare hands. And then the real exterminator came to clean up the rest.

And last but not least – this week is moving week. We’ve found a place that we’re really excited about and it’s go time. Anyone who knows me well is aware that change can be a bit … challenging. Which would probably explain why I’m given so much of it. One of these days it won’t phase me – just wait and see. But the new place is great and guess what? WE HAVE A NICE BACKYARD. WITH TREES. AND A FENCE. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to say that. I feel like I should hang up a string and dry my clothes on it like Marme did when we were little. And guess what else? To go with that backyard I bought a very pretty stainless steel BBQ on which to grill my pineapple. And I got it for an incredible deal. See? Change has some perks.

i'm on the lookout.

My recent horoscope on The Onion:

CANCER: They say animals can often sense an earthquake moments before it strikes, which explains why so many of them are smiling at you right now.

I don't like that one bit. Smiling animals are creepy. Doesn't matter if it's computer generated or the animal accidentally doing something that resembles a smile. Still creepy. And suspicious. Take this guy for example. I don't trust him for a second.

So since #1 horoscopes are, of course, always accurate and #2 everything you read on the Internet is absolutely true, I'll now be on the lookout for creepy, smiling animals. Oh and preparing for an earthquake. I DID recently add to my food storage so I could live off tuna and applesauce for a month if necessary.
And speaking of creepy, look what I saw online today:

Who is making these creepy dolls and more importantly who is buying them? Considering my peering Cabbage Patch doll maybe it's my parents.

dreams of flying.

I really really love this series. Makes me wish I had thought of it.

VANESSA: #25 is for you.

oops. part deux.

Remember this? I’m guilty again. Except instead of seeing the tuft of feathers floating around afterwards, this time some large feathers managed to flip up onto my windshield. And because it was raining they all stuck. Right there. Judging me. Giving me no choice but to stare at them until my wipers slowly brushed them off to the side and eventually out of my view.

But on a happier note, I’m almost certain the bird survived. He’s alive and somewhere out there flying a bit crooked. See? I only hit the tough ones.

fortune cookies NEVER lie. usually.

On the off-chance you can't read this blurry/low-lit/unreadable picture, I'll help you out: apparently I can open doors with my charm and patience. That's right, folks -- CHARM AND PATIENCE*. You heard it here first.

*Um, is this still true if three other people at the table received the same fortune?

denial.

Last Saturday's phone conversation with my brother:

Josh: Hey, whatcha doing?
Me: A little online shopping.
Josh: Oh yeah? What are you looking for?
Me: A hydration pack for my long runs. I need something that I can wear around my waist to carry my water and gels and stuff.
Josh: Oh, so you're buying a fanny pack?
Me: Oh, no no. This is a HYDRATION PACK. It's different. It's for running and stuff.
Josh: So you wear it around your waist to carry things in?
Me: Yeah, my water and gels and stuff. It's gonna come in pretty handy.
Josh: So you wear it around your waist to carry stuff? Just like ... a fanny pack?
Me: NO. See, it's ....
*silence*

Touché. Call it what you want. But my HYDRATION PACK arrived in the mail yesterday and I already love it. So there. I did have my fair share of fanny packs back in the day, though. My faaavorite was this little pink and purple number circa 1992 (ish). I loved its handy little pockets and bright blue zipper.


Next on my shopping list: SHAPELESS SHORTS and RAINBOW SHAPED BANGS.

a steal at only $17.95!

I don't even care that it squirts gel out like snot. What I DO care about is how uncomfortable I would be with a gigantic nose staring at me while I shower.

Michelle's birthday is coming up. We usually just go the "gift card shopping spree" route, but this changes everything.

WHY I LOVE DRIVING IN THE RAIN:

Reflections. Everything always looks so crisp and shiny and fresh.


WHY I SHOULDN'T TAKE PICTURES WHILE DRIVING:
#1 I end up driving like I'm 95. Which we all know is generally not the safest thing.
#2 Jen will scold me.

saving the best for last.

This weekend turned out to be a really great one for a variety of reasons:

#1 On Friday I finally had my shaggy hair trimmed. IT’S ABOUT TIME. It was that awkward length where I feel like it never looks attractive but is necessary to fight through in order to be long again. Lately I’ve been joking about my “mullet” because the back is growing faster than the front. So on Friday afternoon I sit down at the salon, pull off my hat with shame, and laughingly say, “Kim, please help me. I have a mullet.” Kim takes one look and quickly says, “Oh wow. You really do. Yes, we definitely need to fix that.” Oh. I was only half serious about the mullet thing. But apparently there was no need to joke because it was the truth. How long have I been embarrassing myself in public?

#2 That night we took Hilda out to dinner for her birthday. She has an obsession with Olive Garden so of course we ended up there followed by cake and ice cream. Last year I had grand plans of making her a faux hamburger birthday cake (this girl can eat burgers like you wouldn’t believe), but that idea fell flat on its face. So this time around I chose something a little more doable: an Andes mint chocolate cake. Eating chocolate with mint is preferred because it fools your mind into thinking you’re eating something fresh instead of buttery fat. And I got to use my pretty cake stand which was AWESOME. Anyway, Happy Birthday Hilds!




#3 Saturday I had a FANTASTIC long run. Which was a much needed morale boost considering the previous Saturday’s Long Run from Hell. Now to somehow make it 26.2. Pray for me.

#4 Remember this? Well, it finally happened. Definitely the highlight of the weekend (and then some). Everyone give a warm welcome to the handsome Cash Richard Venable!

He arrived on Saturday weighing in at 6 lbs 11 oz and 19 inches long. Isn’t he perfect? I’m so incredibly happy to finally have him with us. And you KNOW this kid is gonna be stellar because he started things off at 19 inches. That’s just good luck.

Can't beat that.

... and my fur isn't red enough ... and my nose is crooked ...

This weekend Michelle and I made a quick stop at Ikea (well, quick for Ikea). While searching through the kid section for something cute for my soon-to-be nephew Cash, we ran across this little burst of sunshine.

I've never seen a depressed fox before. Is the Swedish depression rate sky high or something? Definitely not the type of stuffed animal I'd want to give little Cash. "Welcome to the world, kid. Good luck. You're gonna need it."

thursday.

Today's sunrise was pretty great ...

painting

Yesterday after dinner Curlie and I painted nails with the girls. I don't know how we made it through without nail polish all over our clothes. Maybe we didn't and I just haven't found the big glob of pink on my jeans yet.

Kambri: Rainbow ... of mostly pinks and purples.

Aubree: All purple. At least until she saw Kambri's "rainbow" and had to follow suit.

Curlie: Kambri chose a nice and cheery dark blue for her.

Me: Aubree painted {see below}. She said "uh oh..." a lot. But coloring outside the lines is artistic, right?

At least my shy pinky toe escaped some of the mayhem.