Chineapple Punks: March 2010

So I was in Ogden last Saturday and decided to run at the parkway … just like old times. It started off as an okay run but pretty soon my body started rebelling. This may or may not have been because of my not so smart pre-run decision of eating kettle cooked potato chips and Death by Chocolate ice cream. Hindsight is 20/20. That being said, I need to explain myself. I’m usually pretty smart about eating good stuff when I know my body is going to need it in order to torture itself for a couple hours straight. But I was at my parents’ house. And they sometimes buy potato chips (POTATO CHIPS!) And I’m sorry, but I’d like to see you try resisting something named “Death by Chocolate.” Frankly, my body should be thanking me for not breaking into their food storage and scoring myself a can of cream soda to wash it all down with. Oh and then there were the gummy bears on the drive down to the parkway. I tried to convince myself that they would be of the same value to me as sport beans or gels. Which, for the record, they were not.

Anyway. So there I was. Dragging my poor little potato chip-ice cream-gummy bear filled self down the pathway, hell-bent on getting my allotted mileage for the week. I tried really hard to distract myself so as to stop thinking about collapsing on the nearest grassy spot. I put on all my favorite songs … dreamt about camera lenses … planned out my dream house with pretty shutters and tulips in the front yard (and a hammock) …. but no luck. It was only after I started people watching that I forgot my gnarled stomach. Have you ever people watched at the parkway? Almost as good as the mall (although not nearly as good as the state fair). Pretty sure I saw it all. Examples:

A man running barefoot. BAREFOOT! I’m told it’s all the rage now, but I’m just not on that bandwagon quite yet. And not to mention running barefoot in a public place? With shards of glass just waiting to git ya? No, but thanks anyway.
A couple furiously making out on a blanket during their “picnic.”
Rollerbladers! Each spring I say that this is going to be my rollerblading summer. Maybe it really will be this time.
Some very unhappy looking runners. Which I suppose isn’t so amusing because that’s probably what I looked like as well.
A sketchy group of kids huddled together down by the river. Nothing good ever happens with a sentence like that.
WAAAY too much buttcrack for this time of year. Or ever. I swear it was attacking me from every direction.
THE BIGGEST DOG OF MY LIFE. Seriously. Freaked me right out.
All the tweens at the skate/bmx park trying to impress each other with their mad skills. And since when did 11 year olds start wearing skinny jeans? Is it cause of those Jonas boys?
And. Saving the best for last. I saw a man, locked out of the parkway bathroom, franticly rush to a nearby NOT VERY TALL concrete barrier and do his business. Considering the height of the barrier, the absence of full trees, and the fact that the park was hoppin’ with families enjoying the spring weather … well, I got a kick out of it for sure. The frantic look on his face was pricess. And before you decide that I’m some sort of peeping pervball, I didn’t see a thing. I averted my eyes like any lady should when a stranger nearly pees his pants in front of her.

See? SO much better than worrying if my stomach is going to eat itself alive.

What’s that? You want another pic of cute Easton? Okay I suppose I could do that. For you.