"Broncos Offensive Line Hoping Uniforms Make Them Look Fat"
The Onion - America's Finest News Source

"The dark pants we wear are just so slimming," said Broncos center Casey Wiegmann.

the big 2-5 for kat

Last night we took Kathleen out for her belated birthday dinner. She chose Red Robin aka Red Robster. I ALWAYS (and I really do mean always) get the Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wrap, but this time I crawled out of my comfort zone and tried something different. Big mistake. It was so greasy I couldn't even finish it. Took it home because I can't stand the thought of not getting my money's worth, but I wouldn't be heartbroken if it disappeared from the fridge and ended up in the garbage.

Moral of the story: Never try anything new. Ever. For the rest of your life. You'll end up wasting $9.69 plus tip. And no one wants that, right?

Anyway. Happy Belated Birthday to Kathleen!

pineapple jess

Here is my lame attempt to move Creepy Arthur further down the page so nobody has to look at him anymore.

This is for all you bacon lovers out there. This blog is entirely devoted to it, written by the Lords of Bacon -- Bacon Jason and Bacon Steve. They advertise for Bacon Mints (yes, they're real). They "pimp" things out with bacon. Even cheesecake (See below. Almost as gross as Creepy Arthur). So strange. I'm tempted to give the same homage to pineapple.

Brings back fond memories of the time Beau ate two Wendy's Baconators in the same week and made himself sick. If he can't stomach that much bacon and meat I don't know who can.

Bacon Cheesecake

do we have any entomologists out there?

When I got home this afternoon Michelle frantically told me that she had found a bug in the garage. A big bug (about 2 inches long). A weird bug that she had never seen before. At first I thought she was overreacting .... until I saw the thing. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS? It's like some strange science project mix between an ant, a bee, and a grasshopper--even has little stingers on its butt. We named it Creepy Arthur.

Can anyone help identify? And should we keep an eye out for more? I won't be a happy girl if I ever wake up with this little guy sitting on the pillow next to me.

ouuuuch

Woke up this morning with a bit of a headache. This is probably in part due to the fact that I went to my cycle class last night sans dinner, overdid it, got really dizzy, and still tried to push myself. Stupid, I know. But if I feel like I'm the slowest peddler in the class, so help me I'm speeding up--dizzy or not. One of these days I'll probably just end up passing out.

So headaches in the mornings suck. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. And since I'm getting up earlier for my 4-10 schedule, if the headache strikes all I can think about is how everyone one else is still sound asleep and how much I would love to still be sound asleep too.

So here is my attempt at naturally kicking today's headache and appreciating being up early. When I get to work each morning the sun is just coming up. It really is beautiful when the rays start hitting the trees and casting light everywhere. This is what I get to see out of my window when I get in:



Please excuse the weird blind reflection in the bottom half. I love the haziness of the mountains and LOVE the huge tree on the left side which looks incredible when fall hits and the leaves change (you just wait). This really doesn't do it justice.
That's all. This post is kind of pointless. Thanks for reading it anyway.
SIDENOTE: There's some random man outside yelling "I love you!" to nobody in particular. Gotta love working downtown.

BREAKING NEWS!

Well now I sure didn't see this coming! Clay fooled us all into thinking he was straight with his sparkling red hair and meticulously applied makeup.

Condolences to all the disappointed Claymates out there. Although I will say you may want to give it a closer look next time.

state fair

Romantically sharing a carmel apple. Right before we climbed inside the gravity ride where Beau tried out to defy gravity (and outshine a 9-year old) with his SHEER STRENGTH.

just say NO

Can't we somehow ban people from using Comic Sans? Many of you have probably heard my rants on this. I seriously HATE HATE that font and would be happy if it was deleted from every computer on earth and never seen or used again.

Joshua Radin has a new song I really like (called I'd Rather Be With You - surprisingly upbeat for whispery Josh) and so I went to his website to hear it and a few others. Imagine my horror when I saw that his links are done in a font way too similar to Comic Sans. C'MON JOSH. It hurts my eyes. I'm just going to tell myself that he didn't give the final OK in that decision.

Allow me to reiterate:

NOTE: I would have done this little graphic in Comic Sans except I've already deleted it from every computer I use regularly. There you have step #1, folks.

you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar.

Utah Capitol Closed After Waterline Break
ksl.com

State workers got the day off. All I got was to show up at work with dirty hair/me from my lack of a shower. Please cross your fingers that it's back on by the time I get home because I feel disgusting right now.

The thing that makes me laugh about this article are some of the ridiculous comments posted by readers. Makes me wonder whatever happened to just plain being nice. Does anonymity on the internet justify acting like a jerk? Not to mention that I half expected to see something tYpEd liKE tHiS or to spy an
LOL
(found one) or TTYL in there somewhere.

bright & early saturday morning

We ran the Tour Legacy 5K/10K/bike race on Saturday morning. It was PACKED -- between the three groups there were about 1300 participants. It was really fun and great to be able to run on the Legacy Highway before it opened later that day. Won't be able to do that again without risking my life.

The news stations were there and we were really hoping to be on TV. We even put on our most determined faces when running past the photographers, but as far as I know that didn't help us make the cut. Even with my brightly colored tank top. So this'll have to do for documenting the event. Next time I'll work on running in a more attractive manner.

belated TA-DA!

I'm shocked that I forgot to blog about this. I finally made the gigantic cupcake :


It doesn't look as good as the example picture I previously posted, but it was for Beau's birthday and he didn't care what it looked like as long as it was edible. Which is a good thing because I used the wrong type of cake recipe for it which resulted in the entire thing tipping over.

I can't wait to find a recipe, master it, and then be annoyingly predictable for all of my friends' birthdays.

"Female Fans Out for Season With Tom Brady's Knee Injury"
The Onion - America's Finest News Source

This made me laugh this morning. My favorite line: "The NFL is really looking at a worst-case scenario here, one that it never wanted to happen: A football season that's only watched by actual football fans."

it’s short story day.

#1 A couple weeks ago Beau and I went to the first BYU game of the season in honor of his birthday. It was so dang HOT. So hot that I even allowed myself to be ripped off by spending $4.50 on a drink. We sat third row from the top of the stadium and witnessed the struggles of those climbing to the few seats above us. We both agreed that 10 year olds shouldn't be having trouble getting up those stairs. Time to put the XBox in the closet for awhile and actually go outdoors. Anyway, it was fun. And BYU won, although according to Beau they should have won by a lot more.


#2 More football. My sweet nephew Riley started playing this season. I nearly refuse to believe it because he’s still too little in my eyes. Turns out he’s an “X Man” because he’s bigger than most the kids so looks like I was pretty wrong. But he’s still little to me. I remember the first time we actually carried on a conversation -- we sat on the floor in front of the pantry and talked about cookie cutters. Now he’s tackling and probably grunting and all sorts of things. But who would've thought he’d be playing football so soon after the whole appendix fiasco? We’re all surprised, but very happy to be surprised.

#3 We had a great Sunday dinner this week – birthdays at the park. We celebrated Jennie’s (Happy Birthday, Jen!), Jill’s (Happy Soon-to-Be Birthday, Jill!), and sort of Beau’s (He couldn't make it but still got cake and candy and I think someone even sang his name during the birthday song. Lucky.) The weather was perfect and the dogs were hyped up on sunshine or something. We were all anticipating some sort of “vicious dog fight” as Trace would call it, but luckily it didn't come to that.

#4 Yesterday was a long day. In the total of five minutes I managed to: lose my rockstar parking spot at work, drill stiletto hole #2 in my car floor, and break my sun visor yet again. Yup, it was a Monday.

#5 Trace lost his third tooth today! I'm really excited to hear him say "Silly Sally sells seashells by the seashore." TRACE: I hear the Tooth Fairy pays $50 per tooth for the Taylor family. That's $150! Be sure and tell your mom.

The end.

i think we can all agree:

shake that money tree.

I could try and guilt everyone into buying a ticket for our upcoming fundraiser by talking all about how THE KIDS NEED YOUR HELP and DONATIONS GO TOWARD SUPPORT GROUPS FOR AT-RISK CHILDREN and YOU COULD HELP FIND A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY and YOU COULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

But okay. Fine. I know we're all not made of money. However, if anyone is interested in attending let me know.