The Big 3-0

Anyone who knows me well knows that I felt some anxiety about my recent birthday. Dreaded it, actually. Which is sad considering how much I love birthdays. But 3-0 is kind of a big deal, you know? And sometimes feels even more so when you’re single. (Don't worry -- this isn't a "oohhh why am I still single" rant.)

I generally avoid talking about the “woes” of single hood on my blog because I’d rather not have it become all about that. But in an effort to not have it become all about that I’ve inadvertently left out a very big part of my life. The part where I’m a 30 year old girl who happens to be single and sometimes it can really suck.

In a place where so many people get married at such a young age, it’s all too easy to feel out of place when you haven’t done the same. Sure – you don’t have to coordinate your schedule with anyone else’s or you can go on impromptu trips because you don’t have to find a babysitter (which, don’t get me wrong, IS really great). But in the end you can also feel pretty left behind. You can feel inadequate. You sometimes worry that you’re doing something wrong. But push all of those insecurities aside and you suddenly realize that you’re not alone in feeling that way – married or single. In talking with different people over the years it's always amazed me how so many of those feelings are often the same. Someone who faces infertility feels a hole from something good that they can’t seem to have. Someone who has health problems feels disappointment and frustration over not being able to do some of the things they love. Someone who is struggling in their marriage feels lonely and uncertain about the future. The situational details are different – and some things definitely deeper than others -- but often the feelings are similar.

This all may sound trite to some. But it’s been an awesome lesson for me to learn for myself. No matter your marital status, we can call relate more than we think. Which makes me wonder -- why in the world can we be so critical/judgmental of one another at times? It just seems to be a waste of opportunity and energy.

I may not be very happy about my big 3-0, but I do know that amid the frustration and disappointment I may feel, life really is full of good stuff if we're looking. There are a lot of things that I love and a lot of things that I’m super excited to bring to the table when I do get married and have a family of my own. So I guess as far as the number 30 goes I’m not too bad off. And I'm grateful for the things I'm learning.

But I’m still telling people I’m 27. (Kidding … sort of)

So what did we do to celebrate my 27th birthday? All sorts of goodness. Family, friends, and calories = a good birthday in my book.

And that's not all. My birthday "activity" of choice is a good one this year: the Celine Dion show in Las Vegas. I've always loved Celine (despite some of her apparent cheese) and she'll always be a favorite choice for my shower singing tunes. I can't wait to hear some of this on Saturday!